The ballad of the one movie

When I was about 3 years old, maybe a little younger, I was taken to see a movie. I remember a bunch of us going, some of my brothers and at least my sister, and a family friend chaperoning us all neighborhood kids to see a Peanuts movie. (Why was it in theaters? I have no idea.) I can't remember which one it was, to be honest, but a quick search through IMDB.com, might provide a clue: I was born in 1978, and Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown (And don't come back!) came out in 1980, so it's quite likely that's the one we went to see.

The thing is, I hated it. Well, no, I was absolutely terrified of the whole experience. The theater itself was packed so we would all have to sit separately (I mean, that Charlie Brown is pure box office gold, right?)

I threw the other of all tantrums, but at least from my recollection, what I felt was utter panic at the flickering lights flashing in front of me. I was never afraid of the dark, or of going out, or ofmoving pictures, not even of crowds, but that day, I felt a fear so clear I remember it to this day. They had to take me outside to wait by the concession stand while the movie played inside. It's one of my earliest, clearer memories. Movies used to scare me. Which ultimately proved ironic, given the fact that I ultimately went to film school. But I digress.

I don't know how, or when, but not much later I developed a fascination with watching movies, and I have two very clear moviegoing experiences from before I turned 5: Watching Superman 2, at a friend's birthday party, and then, like a flash of lightning wrapped up in a burrito of earthquakes, Return of the Jedi, when it came out in 1983. (Dude, i'm old.... but I was 5!) It definitely turned me into a lifelong geek and a Star Wars fanatic, that somewhat faded a bit over the years, but it still holds a special place in my heart.

I grew up a movie aficionado, and if something were to catch my eye, I would develop a fascination with its minutiae that would border on the autistic. From the cinematographer to the best boy, I would love knowing as many details as possible, I watched Behind the Scenes and Interviews and read biographies and trade magazines, since this was before the internet, of course. (Did I mention I'm old? Momma is younger, gladly, even if still in my same age range.) Anyway, I attended film schol, where I majored in screenplay writing, and got involved in creative things and  used to watch and obsess and analyze about five or six movies a day! Then I met Momma. Which was a big deal.

That little kid who loved movies and wanted to grow up and tell stories, had another dream, to escape the clutches of stunting shyness, be normal, and have a family. Meeting Momma, and the ten years we've spent together, have given me the chance to do just that. While we dated, movies were a big part of our experience, something that would happen almost every time we saw each other. Movies are a fundamental part of dating, aren't they?

Thing is, that part has dwindled over the years, specially now that the kid is a toddler that demands 24 hour showings of Alvin & the Chipmunks 3. Once she goes to bed, we watch our shows, or read, or study (we're both taking online college courses) or talk or eat in peace, and whenever possible, both by time and our bodies, we watch a movie. A full movie, from start to finish can be a real chore if you are a parent. But here's the thing... I don't mind.

You know all those things you worry about losing when you become a parent? Your hobbies, your interests, your money, your sense of self? How they tell you that your life as you knew it is over? It does, it absolutely does. And I don't care one bit. As long as that tiny bundle of manic anger and unbridled joy is in this world, I can live, quite happily, with watching a movie with Momma only once every sunday. (Yesterday it was "Warm Bodies", which we loved.)

I am sure, that when this life ends, the movies in my head will all have been shot at home.

-Poppa

Our own movie diva.